where do you go?

When we are struggling where do we flee to? If we need some comfort where do we go? Do you have a special spot that you go to be alone? Do you enter into a situation so that you aren't alone? I have been thinking about this a lot in the last couple of days. I have been bored in life lately. What do you do when you are bored in life? Well I get out...if I can. Sometimes I just take a long shower. Sometimes I go to the beach and watch the waves and get a tan! Sometimes I sit under a tree with a good book. I always want to leave for a couple days and then come back. I left and went home this time. I needed to be in a place where I know that I am welcome, I know where my room is, where the dishes or cups are, and where friends and family are. Not to mention that my favorite restaurants are here, my favorite movie theater, and it smells so incredible in the redwood forest and by the beach, especially after a good rain. I fled and I am okay with that. I am dwelling in my comfort and yet I am missing something. What is that something? Is it that you will never get what you want because as soon as you get it, you will realize that now you want something else so there is this constant desire to want something. I know that wanting things is not bad. I know that having passion or desire and goals is great and that you should reach for those goals with that passion and desire. But what happens when you are bored and do not want to reach for those goals because all of a sudden those goals are not so important? For me it is not a matter of not accomplishing those goals because I will but what next? Can I plan for the future? Do I deserve the stars? I am not even sure where I am going with this thought. I guess the best thing I can do in this situation until I get some sort of answer is to say what a good friend says, "whatever". I will say whatever and move on. Move on and go to that spot where you feel better. Go to the beach, the coffee shop, and/or home so that you find that something you need so that you can move on, reach the stars, plan for the future, and get over being bored.

travel

Travel or not to travel that is the question...quickly followed by if I travel where am I going to go? Should I do a missions trip? Should I do my student teaching abroad? There are so many places I want to visit, so many things I want to see, and so many adventures out there waiting for me!

kids

I have had some experience caring for kids (about 12 years) and they still make me smile; want to pull my hair out; cry; jump for joy; play in the sand, mud, grass; and most of all still want to have kids. My recent experience has been with a seven year old boy who is an only child. Having been the oldest of two I do not understand how this kid lives. I appreciate that my parents decided to have another kid simply because I would be bored! My little sister just so happens to be my best friend. We played together and still hang out and share our secrets (something little girls love to do). Any way this little boy drives me nuts. He gets whatever he wants. He throws temper tantrums when he loses a game (if you know me I don't like losing at a card game except when playing with Trinity- she always seems to beat me more times then not). Where am I going with this? Got it! Kids are amazing. No matter how much this kid annoys me I still want to hang out with him. Every time I hold a baby I just fall in love. There is this amazing desire within me that just screams "I want to be a mom". My roommate last year told me once "Jenni, you are just one of those girls who needs a baby." I asked her what she meant by that because I could just go out and steal one or get knocked up cause "I NEED a baby" (by the way i would never just do one of those things). She told me that I just am happier, and more at home with a child in my arms. That life has a bit more meaning when I am looking after a little one. Why is it that people say that? Why does life all of a sudden have more meaning when you have a child in your arms? It does! but why? My goal for my life is to be a great mom (and wife).
My passion is kids. I am happier when kids are around. I like to push strollers, play in the sand at the playground, and I even don't mind changing a diaper. I enjoy telling people that my job is to be a part-time nanny. One of the greatest things, for me, in life is to make a difference in a child's life.

Free Hugs

I love hugs. I am a person who loves to greet others by hugging them. This might be strange to some. Hugs are a way to express that I care about that person. The free hugs video, that you can find on my page, is something that I saw and instantly fell in love with. I have a free hugs t-shirt. I bought it because I knew I could give out free hugs. Since wearing the shirt I have hugged random strangers, I have hugged friends, and family members. I have had people read the shirt and continue walking. I have had people see it and then point it out to others. It has been a great tool to get to know others. I want to encourage you to give people hugs. I want to encourage world to love and not hate, not discriminated, and not reject others. Give someone a free hug today!

why drama?

I seem to attract drama. I do not consider myself to be a dramatic person but I seem to have friends who enjoy drama. There is a type of person/ a personality that is more prone to be a counselor. They want to listen and solve problems. The point of the counselor is to help people, to get them to lighten their burden themselves. My problem is that I like to solve their problem and carry their burdens along with my own. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let myself be vulnerable to the point where I get hurt? I want people to trust me. I have a desire to be needed. Can I be a counselor and not get hurt? Can I live a life that is surrounded by drama and not get sucked in to the madness.
The way I envision myself is holding a bunch of phone books. Each phone book is a responsibility, a job, a problem; a burden. I can hold up to a certain amount of phone books and continue to live my life without feeling the weight. But there is a point that one can reach where you cannot add one more phone book without the whole stack coming down. If I pick up one more phonebook then I will be on the floor with phone books crushing me. When you get to this point and you fall, Get back up! Get back up and deal with your phone books. Know the number of phone books you can handle and adjust your life. Move on and learn from the experience.
I am learning to apply my phone book theory to my drama filled life. The key is to rely on God. God knows what you can handle. He can pick you back up and carry your phone books. God is teaching me how to be content in my daily life.

A little about Me

Hi! I have never written a blog before now but here I go, I hope you enjoy it.
I am from Nor Cal, grew up in the redwood forest, mountains and at the beach. I like to think of myself as an easy going girl living life to the fullest. I am currently a student at Biola University in La Mirada, California. I am planning on graduating in May and going for a degree in Liberal Studies elementary education with an emphasis in Intercultural Studies and an undeclared minor in Bible. I want to teach k-4 grade someday soon. I love kids. They are one of my passions. I enjoy being a part time nanny. Each kid that I come in contact with makes my life a little bit better. They make me smile. I love photography, coffee, friends and movies...oh and my family and God are extremely important to me! So this is a little about me... I hope to share a bit more of my life with ya'll some time soon. thanks for stopping by.